This Evening I Went To PC World....

There is some belief that out of the burning corpse that is Comet, PC World (and sister brand Currys) will rise from the ashes and finally turn in decent profits. The customers that would have otherwise shopped at Comet, will now turn to the main rival instead. Not only that, but over the two years or so, the company has invested millions in flagship joint-branded PC World & Currys stores with the emphasis on " ensuring a better shopping experience for customers."

"Try as I might, I couldn't actually find anyone to take my money from me"

So, off I popped to my local shop. I knew what I wanted and how much it was. I walked to the section and was greeted by an impressive stand that looked the business. Then I waited. Waited some more. And some more, for good measure. Try as I might, I couldn't actually find anyone to take my money from me. Yet more waiting followed. I understand that staff members will have been with other customers, but for the size of the shop, the number of on floor staff was a bit silly.

No matter, I had made the trip and they would get my money eventually. In the end, I was served, but little inspired confidence. Despite being a self proclaimed "PC Expert", lets call them "Dave", they clearly weren't. I didn't do the big headed move of pointing out what I was buying wasn't even a PC. After several attempts at explaining how I had already made my mind up, it was off to the checkout.

"I know that there is absolutely zero margin in electronic goods"

Now, I know that there is absolutely zero margin in electronic goods. I also get that in order to pay the rent, the bills and the wages, the company needs to make said margin. But on three occasions I was given the spiel about extended warranties. Wouldn't have minded once. But three times. Not only that, but across the course of 2 years, it added up to an eye popping £179! The device itself was only £230.

Erm, except it didn't, as "Dave" had managed to get hold of the wrong product, something costing around £350. After a few more minutes of head scratching and display stand alarms ringing, "Dave" finally admitted defeat and asked someone else where the stock was located. Once back to the counter, the extended warranty premium was significantly reduced, but still not for me. It got to the point where I actually felt bad for "Dave". I started to think about any commission or bonus or even positive mention from his boss I may have been keeping from him by saying no. Images of him not being able to buy food because of my failure to sign my life away on something I didn't want suddenly flashed before my eyes. I was having to try really hard not to say yes.

But I stood firm, apologising profusely of course. In the end, I did at least give "Dave" my details and he got the last laugh as when the check box appeared for "No Marketing" (direct mail) on the screen, he didn't ask me and hit continue without my consent. When I got home, someone had written some codes on the box in red Biro too. Damn. Should have got that extended warranty....

Retail Is Dying, No Kidding

I just bought a few new things and I didn't buy them online. Shock horror. I've always enjoyed the high street. I'm a strong advocate of being able to browse before buying. Being able to to try something out. In many ways, such as clothes, I'd very very rarely shop online. The same applies to sandwiches. So there is a place for a physical, retail shop.

But let's be honest, for things such as electronics or entertainment products, you can research online and then buy at a slightly cheaper price and it doesn't matter that you have to wait days on end for delivery because you bought the right product at the right price.

A sorry sight

Today, I wanted a couple of items myself but decided to give to humble old retail park a chance. First up, I thought I'd see if Comet had a case for my Nexus7 tablet. The sad thing is, I knew it would be a long shot. Sure enough, they didn't have any, but perhaps it was an unfair question. Yet instead of then response being "we will look to see which other Comets have some in stock" or "we don't have any, but I will check to see if we have some on order" or even "I can order one for collection at a later date" what I actually got was "we don't have one but try Argos." Well, I suppose it was helpful in its own way, kind of, but talk about shooting yourself in the foot.

No, not a store opening, just a queue.

Turns out I did indeed go to Argos, but for a PS3 game. Figured I pretty much only use it for video streaming these says and it has been months since I bought a game for it. My first problem was the game was new and therefore not in the printed catalogue. No problem as Argos have touch screen computer thingies to search for products. Only the 4 that were free had all crashed. When I did find one and gone to the till to pay, I got a speech that staff had to say about refunds and then the offer of a Argos Credit Card.

Then, the collection process was a joke. I was called to the collection point before my product had arrived, when it did arrive I could see it sat there but not enough staff we free to hand it to me and then to cap it off, my product was given to someone else! At this point I interjected, but I was not given the game, it went back on the shelf to wait again at the back of the queue. Not only that, but the store was incredibly and unbearably warm.

"I was greeted by polite staff, a smile, a cool and stylish environment and quick service."

I needed to chill out and visited a Costa where I was greeted by polite staff, a smile, a cool and stylish environment and quick service. After that, I visited a discount store for cheap chocolate while being gently wafted by air conditioning and cheesy but enjoyable 80's music.

So here's the point. Retail can absolutely survive. But it has to be enjoyable. We all enjoy buying things, but when the environment we shop in has massive queues, fed up staff that aren't knowledgeable, mess on the floor and a drab and dreary look, no wonder we choose to shop elsewhere. The future has to be shops that provide an experience, not a chore. Things move on and evolve, but at present the majority of the high street isn't. Why try to make a cheap buck on extended warranties and credit deals, when you could turn the shop into something exciting and train the staff so that they know and actually care. If the high street becomes enjoyable, that's something then internet will struggle to compete with.

There are people that moan about the high street only becoming "coffee shops, pound stores and clothing" but it has to be said, they are then only ones making an effort.

The Dark Art Of Ordering A Coffee

I do enjoy a good coffee. In my uni days I went a little feral and drank far too much caffeine. However, after giving it up completely for a good 6 months, I can now go back to enjoying a nice warm, sugar fueled, cafemochachino drink at a trendy hangout, with the only worry being how to pronounce the bloody drink.

Me panicking out of shot...

Upon arrival at any one of the million coffee places in town, I normally have a quick read of the menu board. I will quickly  find something suitable and wonder how to say it properly. There are several people in the queue, 3 or 4 staff members and a bustling environment full of city dwellers. In other words, a large audience in which to make a fool of myself in front of. The monologue in my head usually goes along the lines of: "Right, so, it is not small, medium or large, but Grande, Tall, or regular. Then how on earth do I pronounce Espresso Con Panna. Wait, isn't that a realy small drink, so can I even have a Grande of that? Is Grande even that big?! Right, say it again, slowly. Espresso. Con. Panna. Please." Before I've had sufficient practice time, it is my time to shine. I inevitably end up saying something like "one medium Espressa Can Ponne, per favore", recieve a blank look, repeat it again and get something completely different to what I intended. Blown it.

Putting my awkward moments aside, a coffee shop is the perfect example to explain to someone what marketing is. It is often assumed I like watching adverts, which is true and that marketing is merely creating them, not true. "Oh, so, Marketing, is that Advertising then?" To which I have to duly agree to, or change subject. Explaining target markets to your dentist isn't exactly the most exhilarating conversation he will have all day.

"I know coffee smells wonderful, but it is almost as if they deliberately channel the aroma out onto the street"

mmm, coffee

A quick visit to Caffe Nero shows exactly what my answer would actually be. First, that smell. It is absolutely captivating, right? I know coffee smells wonderful, but it is almost as if they deliberately channel the aroma all around the store and out onto the street (a tactic I am certain Subway do, the smell is so potent outside their outlets and oh so inviting). An immediate hook, like in a really catchy song. The silly names in part also portray something that is far more classy and civilized than it actually is. A warm brown liquid is not cool, neither is "a mug of coffee love" (said in a strong Yorkshire accent). But a Caramelatte certainly is. Next, the mugs themselves. Oversized, which means two things. One, more room for cheap froth (as opposed to relatively expensive coffee, boosting margins) and differing from a roadside cafe, a greasy spoon or your home, therefore more upmarket.

Not only that, but price is a major factor. By making the drink way more expensive than it by rights should be able to get away with, plus some brown leather sofas, it creates this illusion of sophistication. To quote one of the best slogan's ever used, a coffee shop is Reassuringly Expensive. Add all of those factors together and you get a product that costs on average 20p-60p to make, being bought for upwards of £4/£5. You see, my mind doesn't work like a normal person's. They won't realise most of this. Or they will, but they won't realise it's all extremely clever and well thought out to create an expensive air so they can charge more.

So, in summary it is over-priced, I make a fool of myself and we all enjoy spending time there. That is marketing.